A Bird without Wings

I have a topic or an issue in my head that I cannot avoid and the more I think about it the more pissed I get. Let me share my thoughts.

I’m sitting in our garden and I caught myself staring at four beautiful white pigeons. These pigeons are set free once a day and my cousin takes care of them. I wondered how come they don’t fly away and never come back, but then I realized their wings have been cut so that they are not able to fly anymore. Not able to fly anymore?? But they are birds! Isn’t the purpose of their living to fly free?! Aren’t they supposed to be one of the living creatures that should not be put in a cage! The more I looked at those poor birds, the more I started to understand that it’s not only birds that are without their rights, its also us women.

For the couple of months I’ve lived in an area where women are not educated and their only purpose of living is to find a good husband, get married, have kids, clean the house, cook and keep their husband satisfied. There is no talk about their wants and needs. Women here are servants of men. They make breakfast, lunch and dinner but they eat after the men have eaten.

Imagine me. I am more independent than 99% of the women living in this particular area and they say “She isn’t a woman, she is a man” only because I don’t talk and walk like the women here. The worst part for me is to look at these women and not have the power to tell them wake up! Why? Because they won’t listen to me. Their mentality has been like this for ages, from mother to daughter; a chain that cannot be broken.

But what if we stop and think for a moment. What if your daughter gets married to a man that dies tragically in an accident and she isn’t educated enough to get a job, or she has no work experience to even get a job. What happens to her and the kids that are left behind because there isn’t a man to feed them? There are two scenarios for this: either the woman has to go the streets to beg for a living or go back to her parents’ house. And we all know the second one is not an option in most families. So she will start begging to raise her kids, to feed them. What happens to the kids? They won’t have even a single thought of going to school and get a better life than their mom had, because they are too worried for today.

What if your daughter gets married to a man that beats her everyday and she is unhappy for the rest of her life. You ask her “why don’t you just divorce your husband and take the kids?” Her answer would be “How can I? Where would I go? How would I feed my kids?” She is absolutely right. If she isn’t educated or doesn’t have a job, how can she independently raise her kids and manage without a man? She can’t because here a man provides the living and a woman is just a housewife.

What if your daughter gets married to a man that locks her in a room and doesn’t let her see daylight because he is too jealous and is constantly afraid that his wife will cheat on him. Again, she is unhappy and in worst case kills herself –not to even mention how awfully.

Last but not least, what if you purposely let your daughter marry a man that is more than 20 years older than her and she is only 15 years old. After couple of days or months she gets killed brutally by her husband. Now, who to blame: the society, the parents or the husband? What did she do to deserve this kind of a life? What does she know about marriage life or life in general? What’s her purpose of even breathing when her freedom is sold in a blink of an eye? Nothing, she does not have a purpose. She becomes a servant.

These scenarios I explained are just small fractions of what is really happening in our world. This doesn’t happen only in our neighborhood, its happening everywhere in the world. Now I will ask, what will you do if this was your daughter or if this was your life? Personally I don’t even know what to answer because only the topic makes me numb. I feel like I’m dying inside when I see or hear these things. I am helpless in a middle of a black sea.

All of these could be solved if we only let our daughters to see the world, let them breath and taste freedom, let them go to school and educate themselves, let them taste the rebellious life and mostly let them experience the good and the bad so that they learn, so that they know what is life, so that they can teach their daughters to know their value, rights and dignity. So that we all could have our rights to be free, just like those pigeons.

We are like birds, it is our birth right to fly free! So I am asking each and one of you to do your best to break this chain and be the change we all want to see. Start from your mother, your sister, your friends and neighbors. Don’t stay silent and watch them all burn. Set them free and TALK!

A Night With Peter Pan

I remember when I was a kid and we were watching Peter Pan and all I wanted was a little bit of Fairy Dust so also I could fly over the world.

We all know the story of Peter and Wendy, where Peter flies to London and goes to Wendy's room because he wants to take her to Neverland so she can tell stories to the lost boys. See this story is for children but the concept is for everyone. Once in a while we all want to fly away from the current world and enter a world where anything is possible if you just believe hard enough.. And imagine if you can do this with your night gown and in the middle of the night, like Wendy did.

Well.. I did it as well.

It was close to midnight and we got a crazy idea to go for an ice-cream and of course I was too lazy to get dressed so I was like what the heck, I'll go with my night gown. So we drove to Citadel, the landmark of Hawler, Kurdistan, to eat the best ice-cream in town. Damn it was good!

Basically this place is the heart of the city and we went there with night gowns, it may sound funny and weird to you but I think we all should try out these things sometimes. I mean so what if its embarrassing and everyone is looking at you, isn't that how you feel alive? I mean look at Wendy! Did she mind fly over London and to Neverland with her night gown? No she didn't. Plus I have to admit, it was really awesome to walk around with my night gown. I felt so free!

“Dreams do come true, if only we wish hard enough. You can have anything in life if you will sacrifice everything else for it.” - Peter Pan

Imagine for a second this view. The world is asleep and you are walking around with your night gown and you feel the fresh air going through your hair, silent traffic and the flash of water falling down with each step you take. Now if this isn't freedom, I don't know what is. What if we stopped thinking what others think of us and just be ourselves. Somehow I feel like in Kurdistan, more than in other places, its always about the outer look. The way you dress up, everything should be brands, the car you drive, where you live and where you work. These all matter in Kurdistan, I mean even your phone number needs to be a pretty number without mentioning your car plate. Its all about the outer look. If so, have a look at this.















Now, I didn't care about any of those. I broke the chains and enjoyed full freedom from the norms. If we all did this, miracles would happen in Kurdistan. But no worries, we will make a difference with small steps even if they are baby steps. Something is happening. I could continue writing but I want to stop with a scene of happiness no matter who you are.

“All the world is made of faith, and trust, and pixie dust.”  -Peter Pan

With Love,

Taj

A Day in Their Shoes

Dear Lovely Readers,

It is my pleasure to write to you once again and I hope this topic will keep you as interested as before -if not even more.

So today I had an off day from work and I thought for a long time what shall I do since all of my friends were either out of town or quite busy. So I thought...lets go back to our roots. I got dressed up with a long skirt and a cute shirt, I stayed loyal to my style but I changed it to match the locals dressing style: a bit more covered.

I think I might be one of the blessed girls in town, for many reasons. But lets start with the most simplest one; where do I live. I currently live with my aunt and their house is located in the oldest place of Erbil, its literally so old that even the house we stay has an open roof. I can walk from my room to the kitchen while enjoying the fresh air and looking at the stars right above me. Beautiful huh?

Tho what bothers me is the lens of my camera or any camera for that matter because not a single camera can capture the real picture I want to share. My eyes see everything in a different way that sometimes I feel like I'm high because everything I see is just so damn beautiful! Or maybe its the way I see life, I just think life is beautiful from every view we look at it.

The picture above is taken from our street. Sorry for the bad quality, but I couldn't stay and take perfect pictures because the people already wonder what am I doing and some of them might even get offended, so from now on most of the pictures has been taken pretty quickly. Nevertheless I want to show you all what I did today. This place right here is called Kuran and it has a Bazaar that is so big that it would need more than three days to actually go through each shop. And I live right next to it. Imagine "a shopping mall" next to you, like 2min walk.

I left home with a budget of 100 000 Iraqi Dinars, which is around 70 euros and I wanted to see what can I get with this amount. Let me show you how the place looks like.

I know to some this place might look creepy and a bit weird, but let me tell you: THEY HAVE EVERYTHING YOU NEED. From a piece of gum to gold, from socks to shoes, from t-shrits to prom dresses... Literally everything. So a shopaholic may find this place like a piece of heaven. But you have to keep in mind that going to a place like this requires you to have an open mind and a sense of understanding the Kurdish Culture. For example, you cannot go there with a miniskirt or dressed up too pretty. You need to go to the same level with the locals. You have to act like one of them, that is the first requirement.

So me and my cousins went to a journey of "A day in their shoes". I wanted to see what can I get from this place, and of course what can I eat. So when I stepped into the Bazaar, first thing that I noticed was how everyone was staring at me. It wasn't because my clothes were "too much" it was because I was a girl with a style of the 60's. Now these people think Im actually behind, and they are ahead of me just because they are wearing jeans and Im wearing a skirt that covers 3/4 of my legs. See, back in the time girls here weren't allowed to even wear jeans, but then a revolution happened and everyone is wearing jeans and when they see me only wearing skirts they somehow think my parents are forcing me to wear skirts and I cannot wear jeans.. Each time I hear this I laugh a bit inside and I answer with a smile and I continue by saying "Not at all, this is my own style. No jeans, only skirts and dresses". Their face turn upside down and they look at me like I am a weirdo.. Anyways, don't wanna go off topic.

I wanted to see, can I buy anything that I can actually wear. So after going through some shops I found three gorgeous shirts that can be worn with skirts. Just gorgeous ones, take a look!

Look at these shirts? Can you believe I bought this in Kurans Bazaar? I couldn't believe it either, and it cost me all together around 55 euros. If had bought these in any Mall around here, I would'v needed at least 200 euros. Lesson learned: the eye can fool a lot.

It's not always about going to fancy places and spending all of your money in expensive things. You can have a low budget and still look like a superstar. Awesome huh? Yah, I definitely agree on that since that has been my personal motto for so damn long.

After some shopping, we got hungry and wanted to get something sweet. LOOK AT THESE!

Guys these were so good that I actually bought 1 KG of it, its called Baqlawa and its just the sweetest thing one can have.. I'll get so fat if I continue eating them but I cannot stop. This cost me only 6 000 IQD, which is less than 5 euros. IMAGINE!

So after eating these.. we got more hungry Hhahaha... So next stop was local sandwiches with cold coke!

How much? Less than  1 EURO! And it was sooooooo DELICOUS! Could've eaten more but naaahh it would have been too much hahha. But it was amazing!

So after our little journey was over, I grabbed some fruits with me and took them home. I have no idea what is it called but its really delicious. Have a look!

I also forgot to mention, before we went to the Bazaar my aunt was doing "Nan", kurdish bread. It was interesting to see how they do it, because honestly I could never. See for yourself.

BUT I would love to learn, since I am here to explore new things anyways. The best part of living in Kurdistan is the possibility to learn new things every minute of my staying here. Whats better than that? Our mind is taking new things every day no matter what.

After everything, I sat down on the floor, put Wi-Fi on and started to think of my current blog and here I am writing it. In many ways this day was amazing because I saw and experienced things you just have to do before you die.. Not to mention, it cost me less than 70 euros since I didn't even spend it all and if I hadn't bought the clothes, I could've managed with less than 10 euros. Now thats something worth mentioning because people keep telling me Kurdistan is expensive and Im like no its not. Here is the prove!

What can we learn from all of this? Seeing and feeling different ways of living may teach you more than you think, most of all you will learn how to be humble, how to appreciate what you have and how to learn to treat others as equals!  I didn't learn all this in one day, I learned all this long time ago but that's another topic already.

With Much Love,

Taj