This is What Genocide Looks Like

Take a close look at the picture below.

Now Imagine this is your child. Imagine you had to leave your home with a hope of a save haven for your child. Not for yourself, but for your child. You are going through hell right here on earth.

I am actually speechless for all the war crimes ISIS is doing against humanity. I am numb for all the hate in the world. I am powerless because we can't stop the war or the hate.

I still remember like it was yesterday when I was listening to my history teacher and he was talking about Hitler's war crimes. At that time I was thinking "wow, and no one did anything to stop him. What a world!". I never guessed that 10 years later I would be the one to witness such cruelty. History keeps repeating itself and we never learn. Do we?

I know what you are thinking. Lots of kids are dying everyday in Asia, Africa and in the whole world. But when will we stand up and say "Enough is enough!". We can't keep letting our people die because they are running away from war! I mean how can we sleep in our cozy warm beds when we know there are people dying because of our style of living?! Our standards and needs are so high that we keep asking for more and more, and who gets hurt? Guess twice.

I won't get into too much politics, because it's one woman's opinion. What we need to do is put our focus on humanity, instead of who wins and who looses.  We are living in the same god damn world, same bubble but yet we have two separate worlds: The West and the East. The rich and the poor. We are breathing the same air, enjoying the same rain and sunset but yet we somehow feel more privileged and close our borders from the ones in need. Not to even mention the rich Arab countries who ain't moving even one finger!

I mean what the hell?!

Since when our lives have prices and labels? Since when I am more privileged just because I was lucky enough to live in one of the safest places in the world? Since when we human beings are the smartest race in the world? Huh..what a laugh! At least animals care for each other, at least animals show compassion and empathy towards one and another.

I am simply disgusted and I blame the world leaders and their unbelievable greediness.

Let's all make a stand and do our part. Always remember to help each other, always show love instead of hate and always remember this innocent child.

May this angel rest in peace.

Our story in 1991: From Kurdistan To Finland

"It was March 1991 and the sky was pitch dark. Our home was invaded, our people were dying and we were walking through war zone in a hope of finding a save haven." 

-My mom

In 1991 Kurds were persecuted by Saddam Hussein's army and just like every other Kurd also our family migrated from his Regime. My parents wanted a saver world for their children and this is a story of our journey.

Unlike the other 2 million Kurds who fled Saddam Hussein's regime, we were lucky. In March 1991 our family was separated because the Iraqi army killed all the Kurdish men but saved women and children so my father had to leave. He went to the border of Iran with his brothers and stayed there for over a month. We on the other hand were in constant danger so one night our mother took me, my older sister and brother to his brother's house because they were the few ones who actually had a bomb shelter. We spent there approximately 2 days and all we heard was bombs exploding and gun shootings. We were scared to death.   

On the following days my mom and her sister had the courage to go outside because we were about to be without any food or water, so under pressure they went to see what is going on outside. The view was incredible. People were coming back to their houses and life was starting again in the heart of Kurdistan, Hawlér. 

My mom gathered the children and we went back to our own house, still without our father. After sometime my grandfather went to get my dad back because during that time there were no telephones or internet for that matter. We didn't even know if my dad was still alive. Finally after many weeks we saw our dad again.

Time had passed but situation in Hawlér was still unstable. One day a man knocked on our door and asked for my dad. This man came to take us to Europe. One of my uncles left Kurdistan many years before us, so once he heard what's going on he sent one of his friends to us so that also we can leave Kurdistan and find ourselves a new saver home. So this man showed my father pictures of my uncle and us as well just to assure my dad he is for real. Once again my dad left us for weeks. He went to Iran to get us all Iraqi Passports so that we can leave Kurdistan. These passports were fake but during that time no one had "real" passports anyways.

The man on the left is the one who helped us and the man in the middle is my dad and on his right his brother.

Two weeks passed and then my dad came back from Iran with passports for all of us. Our journey to Europe started at this very moment. In the 90's people didn't really have much money but thank god my dad had worked a lot to have some savings. 

We left Hawlér and our next destination was Zakho and from there we took a bus to Turkey. It was October 1991. Luckily we spent less than 3 weeks in Turkey and from there we managed to take a train straight to Bulgaria.

We were one country closer to our save haven.

My older brother, I and my oldest sister. One of our first pictures together in Bulgaria.

This is my beautiful mom and my little brother, who was just few months when we left Kurdistan.

We lived together with another family in Bulgaria, also Kurds. 

Bulgaria was very snowy and we arrived there just before Christmas. Experiencing snow with that amount was something incredible for us. I still remember how much fun I had playing outside but I wasn't happy. Once again my dad had left us. He and his brother left us and went to Finland. We stayed with my mom, other uncle and this other family. Being without our father for days, then weeks, then months and then years was simply terrible. We were all so young and my mother didn't even speak the language so that we could get along, but the Bulgarian people were helpful.

My older brother. Bulgaria.

The entire family! I am the one in the front with a pink dress and blue necklace. Bulgaria.

My oldest sister. Bulgaria.

My mom always tells me one story I can never forget. As I said above, we lived in Bulgaria with another family and they had a daughter in the same age as I was. Her dad was with them in Bulgaria so each night her father came home from work and brought us both something sweet. He never forgot me when he got something for her own daughter. So one night, her father came home and brought us both lollipops. I still remember how her daughter ran towards him, jumped on him and hugged him. I was looking at them and I started to cry. I went to my mom and said:

"Why my dad never comes home?"

My mom looks at me and starts to cry and just when this man noticed us he came to me and grabbed me in his arms. I and my mom were both crying and he just looked at me and told me:

"Aren't I here?"

Then he hugged me so tight that I stopped crying. Back then I didn't know how my mom had felt but now I can imagine. She was more heartbroken than we were. She was basically all alone in a foreign country with 4 young children. I don't wonder.

We played all day with the locals and my mom always said that they loved us so much!

It didn't matter where we lived, my mother always stayed loyal to the Kurdish blood. Kurdish dress all the way.

She even did the dishes with that gorgeous dress! 

Here is my older brother with one of our relatives. Also in Bulgaria.

Here is my uncle who stayed with us when my dad left us.

 After year and a half we finally got our passports and we traveled to Finland, where my father waited for us. It was 23rd of April, 1993. It took us almost 2 years to find a save haven and Finland become our next home.

The one with a black jacket is my father and the one with a purple suit is my uncle. Here we are at the airport of Finland. The first day of our arrival.

Reuniting with my cousins in Finland.

Leaving your home is never easy, but sometimes it's a necessity. Once in a while I think what would've happened if we had stayed in Kurdistan, would I be still the person I am today. Most probably not, but I know for sure that Finland offered my family a home when our home was taken away from us.

We can do so little to repay Finland, but ought to do our best. Therefore we as a family are grateful for everything we got from this beautiful country.

Our cousins visited our house in Finland.

Oh I still remember this! Playing outside with my siblings.

I believe these are one of our first photos with out Finnish friends.

Our youngest sister was born in Finland.

Local Kindergarten, with my siblings.

I and my little brother were inseparable. Still are. 

Two cuties, sister and brother.

Famous Kulicha making with the family.

I know lot of people are leaving Kurdistan currently, but I truly hope they wouldn't. Even if our family left, I don't urge everyone to leave. Our country, our golden land Kurdistan still needs all of us and we need to have faith in our people and in our Kurdistan.

My mother and her first child. Kurdistan.

To finish our story, I would like to say it was a unique journey and we were lucky enough to receive only the best from all of the countries we passed but the final destination Finland was the crown to all of it.

Thank you Finland

Kurdistan is Our Home

The other day I came home from work and I heard my dad talking on the phone with our relative. They were talking about when would our relative leave Kurdistan for good and settle down in Europe, Finland.

The more I think about it, the more I want to know what our fellow Kurds back home really think about leaving Kurdistan. I asked the question below in a Kurdish group, and I got plenty of good answers!

After couple of hours few of the Kurds answered me with their thoughts and opinions. Many thought that leaving Kurdistan would never be an option and for some it would be the best decision they would ever do. So why is that?

"Kurdistan has a lot of problems but living in another country is even worse. Kurds living abroad usually have satisfied needs in term of their life needs, but they always have one problem: home sickness."  -Ahmed Duhoki

I personally grew up in Finland so I could say Finland is my home, but I can't because it is not. Surely Finland has given me everything and I can't show my gratitude enough, but there is always home sickness, a sense of belonging, shared culture and language. I am not alone in this, because many Kurds abroad share the same feelings.

"For many it's a golden ticket to a better life but of course it comes with lot of disadvantages too. Right now Kurdistan is a mess in the hands of the corrupted people so I am glad I chose to leave it but there are other times I think why did I leave my motherland, because at the end home is where your mother is." -Shaho Ahmed

 Indeed.. Home. Where is your home? Is it in Kurdistan, Europe, The States or Africa? Shaho Ahmed defined home to us better than I could've ever defined it. But what if my mother is here with me, in Finland? I still say my home is in Kurdistan and that will never change.

"No, we know the hardness of life out of Kurdistan but at least we know life abroad is fair."-Miran Shamall

"I've been in Kurdistan for 3 years and each day I hate it more and more. Imagine how the people who have lived here all of their life feel? Yes, they will try anything to get away from this hell hole." -Gilan Norie

Life is hard no matter where you are, it just depends on the perception one got. As Ahmed Duhoki put it "Building a good life can be done anywhere under any situation. It depends on how hard you want to build that good life", it all comes down to you personally. Some have seen the worst of life hence they would cherish every second of something good even if its 2 hours of electricity per day but then there are some who are so used to a good life that having everything is still not enough because they can't adjust to the Kurdish mentality. 

" I was born in Europe so I had no choice but I am grateful. I need to make enough money to be able to help my family back home." -Serxwebûn Agirî

"I went back with my husband and two kids, we both had offered great jobs, and it took us 11 months to change our minds again. Once you have seen both Kurdistan and another country, you really can't make up your mind. If I was living alone I would be living there but as a mother I can't just think of myself." -Shayma Sadiq

Those who left Kurdistan back in the 80's and 90's didn't really have much of a choice. Whose parent wouldn't want to provide their children a brighter future? Those Kurds who succeeded safely all the way to Europe are mostly there to do their best. But we will never forget our country, we will never stop helping our people because to us it will always be our home. 

"There are people who came back to Kurdistan and never wish to leave it again, some burn their passports, some lives like a king, and then some are ready to pay anything to get an European residency permit." - Soran Mohammed

 I'm not arguing that life ain't difficult in Kurdistan, but I am arguing on is leaving your home today really worth it? You could live in the middle of the desert or forest and still try to live a good life since as previously mentioned it all goes down to you. 

"Kurdistan is like a mother for us, even tho there isn't a quality life here, our soul will be hungry if we are far away from mother's lap. Even those living overseas will come back to their mother's hug." -Shahkawan H. Qadir

That said, Kurdistan is our mother land and we are Kurdistan's future. Kurdistan is and will always be our home and no distance can take that away from us. This is my home.

How to Reach Your Goals?

Yesterday we had dinner with my colleges at a Swedish restaurant in Stockholm City. While we were waiting for our main course to arrive, we were sipping drinks and talking at the same time. One of them said: 

"it would never be boring to be friends with you because one day you are moving back to Kurdistan, the next day you are planning to get your masters in Estonia and day after that all of your plans have changed."

I couldn't stop laughing. I laughed so loud that at one point it kinda got a bit weird. 

Thank god I know how to react fast so I replied: 

"BUT, I always have the same destination. The journey keeps changing because there are so many routes and I cannot decide which one is the best, so sometimes I choose all of them at the same time."  

Obviously at that precise moment I didn't think about it more than that. 

Seriously speaking, how many of you thinks about their goals and destinations every day? How many of you gets up, looks into the mirror and says "Today I am one day closer to my goal"? I bet not many. Tho I know there are some people in this world who are so determinant that their every breath is towards their goals. These people work day and night without getting tired or frustrated. Why? Because they are willing to work for everything they want.

I want to believe that I am this type of a person. I have my goal written on my forehead, stained in my heart and clear in my eyes. So how did I do this? 

The first thing I did was figuring out what do I want from life.

These goals don't necessarily need to be life changing, world peace or curing cancer -even tho they can be these too. Only you can set your goals and only you can achieve them. So make sure its for yourself and not for your parents, partner, friends or people you hate (yah, sometimes we want to impress people we don't even like!). Instead only focus on yourself. Take a deep breath and listen to your heart, after this start writing them down.

The second thing I did was to think of ways how to achieve my goals.

I think this is the most hardest part, at least for myself. Sometimes I think there are thousand things I want to do, million things I want to experience and billion things I want to learn. Life feels way too short! I guess in times like these we should stop and think for a second. We need to put our goals into sections and achieve them step by step. I know it can be hard sometimes but believe me when I say it will be much harder to look at someone who is living their dream already and you are just sitting there and doing nothing.

It might take even half of your life before you achieve your goals, but its much better to live a life with a purpose than wake up everyday without a good reason. Life doesn't necessarily have a meaning but you can change that. You can decide to believe in yourself and then focus on how to improve yourself to the person you want.

The third thing I did was maintaining my everyday life with my goals.

Never stop reading! I feel like sometimes we are forgetting how much there is still to learn and instead we spend all our days in Facebook liking idiotic photos, scrolling down Instagram over and over again and Whatsapping random stuff to our friends. Are we that afraid to sit down, grab a book and just relax? I'll make it easy for you. On your way to school, uni or work take a book with you. Instead of playing with your phone read a book for that 20 min. That's what I do and it really works. 

I didn't want to write very specific ways of reaching your goals, because I would be just lying to you and myself. No one can tell you how to exactly reach them, but what you can do is get to know yourself. Stay determined and make it happen!

The Two Parallel Worlds of Finland and Kurdistan

After work I met a friend and we had a cup of coffee. Once I got back home it was close to 8 PM. Couple of hours passed even though it felt like minutes. I opened my convertible sofa and laid on it. I was literally exhausted even though my daily job is not physically tiring just mentally.

Now it was 10 PM and my little sister came to lay next to me. As I was looking at her, I couldn't help myself thinking what if one day I lost her. I can't name a single person in this universe that would never fight with their siblings and we are no different from others. There are days when I can't even stand looking at her because she knows exactly how to piss me off. Nevertheless, I love her a lot and I can't think of anything bad happening to her. There are days when I worry how will she manage if someone treats her bad, or what if she gets lost on her way to a new place. Even a thought of letting her go study alone in a new city freaks me out. I mean how will she manage all by herself! She is just a kid -and in reality she is already 18 years old. 

I guess its love.

I remember an incident from 2009 like yesterday. My little sister was around 12/13 years old and she called me in the morning. She was in school and I was just about to start my shift. I answered the call and in a matter of seconds I felt like my heart jumped to my throat. She was crying over the phone screaming "stop it! leave me alone!". I was in a shock but I managed to get myself together and ask her "what's going on!". No answer, but I only heard her crying over the phone telling me to help her. I couldn't take it anymore and I yelled her name and demanded her to answer me. Finally she told me another girl is bullying her and she is scared because she couldn't defend herself. 

I will never forget that call.

We all know how it feels like when we are completely helpless and our hands are tied. The day I received the call from my sister was the worst day in my entire life. Why? Because I was so damn helpless. I was too far away from her. I couldn't protect her. I couldn't make her stop crying. Most of all, I couldn't teach a lesson to the bully.

No one can argue the strong bond between siblings and loved ones. If we truly care for someone there is not a single thing in this world we wouldn't do to protect them.

Let's think of a parallel world, but don't forget my little sisters' incident. Right now I am laying down on a warm bed with a peace of mind, I feel safe and my stomach is full. I know deep down in my heart even thought I might sometimes forget it that I am blessed. I am blessed since I know the next morning I open my eyes it's a new day with a bright future ahead. I also know that the sky is clear and the day is mine to take.

At the exact same time, but in a different world there is a little child. Whose same minute is uncertain not to even mention the next morning. He is not safe. His stomach is empty. While I have a peace of mind he is shedding tears. The tears are the size of a small bubble, coming down on his cheeks. He is scared. There is not a promise of a safer tomorrow nor a feeling of being cared and loved.

"Just saw this young man crying outside in the rain. Tried talking to him for 20 minutes to see what was wrong but he was too scared to even talk. The strange thing is at least 10 other people walked by and they didn't even seem to notice. He can't have been older than 6; we really have fallen far."

Aryan Qazzaz

The question is, how does this affect me? Well, it doesn't. You are absolutely right. I mean why would you care about someone living in a different world? Miles away if not even light years. See, the point is not about caring, the point is not about doing something, the point is not stopping something bad happening in a different world. 

What's the point then?

Wait, what the flower did I just write.. Rewinding back.

Two different worlds, I mean two Parallel worlds? Oh Hell No. We are actually living on the same god damn planet, living under the same blue sky, enjoying the same ray of light, breathing the same air and YET we separate ourselves with borders of different countries, communicating in languages I have never even heard, we drink and dance differently depending on the culture and then again I sleep in a warm bed but that kid up there is crying bubble tears.

Hmm.. What does my little sisters' incident, this kid and the two parallel worlds got to do with each other? EVERYTHING.

My little sister is everything to me, she is family, and that is the reason why I can never think of living without her. That's why I want to protect her with each breath I got. This feeling, this need of protecting family shouldn't be only for the close people. This feeling and need should be for the whole world. We are not living in two different worlds, we are all the same no matter how hard we try to prove other wise. 

It doesn't matter if you are rich or poor, beautiful or ugly, because at the end we all turn into dust and rest in identical graves.

I'm not here to preach any of you, I just want to give you some insight. We should do our best every single day to help each other. We need to hold on to the thought of Family and the strong bond between us. We are the destruction of humanity, which means we are also the key for the salvation of humanity.  

Look into these eyes and decide for yourself.

Explain Again, Why Do I Need a Man?

Being a woman is more than just becoming a wife when 

finding the right man -at least for Kurds. 

Yes, it's true that due to our geographical location our women should be nothing else than just order obeying daughters and wives. Yes, it's true that Kurdistan is an Islamic country and it makes any western doubt our rights as a woman.But are we oppressed eastern women? Hell no.

I'm a woman and I personally stand for independent, hard working and goal-achieving Kurdish women. When did the mainstream media become a manipulative source of information? Ugh, I guess the day they invented media. 

For days I've been thinking of this topic since it is more than a recent topic, when considering what's going on in Middle East and the whole world in general. We talk about degraded women rights in Middle East but highly valued woman rights in the West. Really? Is it just the ignorance of the West to see the whole Middle East as one? Is it the educated West and the uneducated Middle East? 

I want to clean the air and express myself by telling you all how a Kurdish woman truly is!

"Behind every man, there is not a woman. She is beside him, she is with him, not behind him"

-Tariq Ramadan

We have women fighting side by side with our men

We have women in politics; making decisions with men as equals

We have women as police officers

We have women representing the Great Kurdistan

I am sure not many of you expected this, but it does not matter since I am here to show you even more! Maybe you think, the pictures above are about people who belong to the "upper-class", hence does not really represent the whole nation. Or does it? I have had the privilege to interview some Kurdish women who more than proudly represent most of us. 

 

Without mentioning any names I decided to interview Kurdish mothers all around the world. I chose to interview mothers because they are already occupied with the household, being a mom and at the same time a wife. I asked them questions such as:

How do they manage being a mother, a wife and at the same time follow their dreams?

What were their dreams and did their husband support them?

What are they doing today?

I got many answers and most of them did not surprise me because I knew Kurdish women are strong and willing to go that extra mile in order to make everything happen. Most of the interviewers were working and not just being a stay-home mom. One was even starting her own business and she inspired me by her plans. I wish nothing but success to all of them!



The question is, what is my point in all this?

My point is that nowadays women are stronger than before. We have a voice none can take away, we have motivation and most of all we thrive for success. What do Kurdish women do? We make sure the whole world knows our name, knows our background and definitely knows which way we are going. And let me tell you, there is no way than straight to the top!