From Finland to Kurdistan: Exchange Program with University of Kurdistan - Hawlér

"But dad I can't leave now because I still need to do one exam"  

Which obviously was a big fat lie. I just wanted to stay for the Valentine's day party. It's almost 4 years ago when I did an exchange program with the University of Kurdistan Hawlér. To be quiet honest Kurdistan wasn't my first choice, not even second.

When I started my studies at the local university in Finland my main focus and biggest excitement was the chance to do an exchange somewhere in the world. When I explored all the possibilities I landed with a university in Dubai. Can you guess my dad's reaction?

"There is no way I'll let my daughter to be surrounded by Arabs!"

As if the Arabs would eat me. I wanted to go to Dubai because it was everything I wanted: booming economy, high class and of course the shopping malls! After a while I realized there isn't a chance to change my dad's mind. His decision was rock solid. Once my dad saw how disappointed I was he suggested why don't I go to Kurdistan. I was like "Omg what a typical Kurdish dad! Of course he suggests Kurdistan.." At first I didn't really like his idea and I told him many times that I don't want to go there.

My problem was my own university because as part of our degree we HAD to do an exchange somewhere, therefore without the exchange I wouldn't even graduate. Since back then I was such a stubborn girl that I told my dad I wouldn't go anywhere else than Dubai so forget it. Then my dad told me to give it a chance so after a while I said whatever, let's do it. It's not that I don't love my country but to me Hawlér was always just Middle-East; religious & uneducated, no women rights and definitely not a place I could feel comfortable with. Oh how wrong I was!

On 31^st of August, 2011 I flew to Hawlér, Kurdistan. 

To be more precise, I did my exchange here.

In the University of Kurdistan - Hawlér (UKH).

Before I got even accepted to do my exchange in UKH I had to do a lot. First I needed to prove my own university that UKH is legit. Imagine my teachers face expression when I told them where am I going. Nonetheless it took me almost half a year to communicate with my own university and with UKH before everything was settled.

After all the paper work I was ready to start my journey.

On my next blog I'll write more about how was studying and living in Kurdistan.

What's Up With 90's Generation?

I don't know if its the blood running through my veins or just the way I was raised up, but whenever I see strong women standing for their beliefs or fighting in the front-line beside men I feel a rush going through me. It feels like the whole world is counting on me to do something. It feels like I need to get up and stand for what I believe in.

"Live your beliefs and you can turn around the world"

                                                               Henry David Thoreau


What do I believe in then? A world where we all can live in peace. To some this might sound a bit of naive, but isn't that what we all want? There are young girls like Malala Yousafzai (who is my absolute favorite above all) that have dedicated her whole existence in protecting the fundamental right: equal education for everyone despite their gender. 

I have few fundamental beliefs as well and they are:

1. The right to live in peace
2. Food and water for everyone
3. Equal rights for education

It's been couple of weeks now - and no it's not my New Year resolutions - that I've been thinking a lot what's next. Many of my friends know me for being very determinate and always up to date with all of my future plans. Not to mention that I also expect a lot from myself too. Maybe its the fact that the world is going through a lot or maybe I'm just lacking some excitement. 

A year ago I didn't even have a clear vision what should I do in the near future and currently I feel like the whole world is sitting on my shoulders and expecting a miracle from me. Do you ever feel like there is so much you need to accomplish but so little time? Yah.. Time is seriously our number one enemy. While we are thinking what's next, time keeps passing us by without even feeling bad for us!

But then again, why are we rushed to know what we want to do for the next 40 or 50 years? Why living feels like mass production; born, go to school, work, get married, get a mortgage, have kids, work some more and then die. 

Well no. Just no. I have and will always refuse to be the typical Kurdish woman who by the age of 26 has already a husband and 3 kids. Also I'm not degrading women who do decide to do so, because I have great deal of respect for them. My own sister has 3 beautiful daughters and she is - after my mom - the best mom I've seen. So don't get me wrong. 

What I mean is why can't the rest of us break the rules and make room to follow our own road. 

From a young Kurdish woman's perspective It's quite hard sometimes. The first problem sometimes starts within your own family; there is your own dad who strongly believes that women are "weaker" and therefore needs "protection". Yah, surely we might be weaker physically but we can do much more if we are given the possibility to do so. Right now I'm talking from experience. There has been so many times that I've had to prove my dad wrong but once I managed to do that I opened a new door to my own road. 

We also have someone very special that balances "Kurdish problems" and that's our mom. Kurdish mothers always wants the best for their children, especially daughters. Personally speaking its always my mother who convinces my dad to let me pursue my goals. Tho this doesn't mean we don't have to anything. Oh yes we do. We need to show our parents every single day that we are worth the trust, we need to prove them with high marks and excellency. Pretty tough to be a Kurdish woman but that's what makes us extremely powerful. It's the fact that we need to constantly work hard and exceed all expectations.

Despite the hard work and the need to argue with my dad each time even on the most simplest things - makes everything much more desirable once I've actually met my goals. I guess what I'm trying to say here is LIVE. If you want to chill and just watch Netflix, do that. If you want to become a doctor, study hard. If you want to be the next Obama, get up right now. And if you just want to be you, then be.

Stop with all the fuzz and for once just breath.

The Two Parallel Worlds of Finland and Kurdistan

After work I met a friend and we had a cup of coffee. Once I got back home it was close to 8 PM. Couple of hours passed even though it felt like minutes. I opened my convertible sofa and laid on it. I was literally exhausted even though my daily job is not physically tiring just mentally.

Now it was 10 PM and my little sister came to lay next to me. As I was looking at her, I couldn't help myself thinking what if one day I lost her. I can't name a single person in this universe that would never fight with their siblings and we are no different from others. There are days when I can't even stand looking at her because she knows exactly how to piss me off. Nevertheless, I love her a lot and I can't think of anything bad happening to her. There are days when I worry how will she manage if someone treats her bad, or what if she gets lost on her way to a new place. Even a thought of letting her go study alone in a new city freaks me out. I mean how will she manage all by herself! She is just a kid -and in reality she is already 18 years old. 

I guess its love.

I remember an incident from 2009 like yesterday. My little sister was around 12/13 years old and she called me in the morning. She was in school and I was just about to start my shift. I answered the call and in a matter of seconds I felt like my heart jumped to my throat. She was crying over the phone screaming "stop it! leave me alone!". I was in a shock but I managed to get myself together and ask her "what's going on!". No answer, but I only heard her crying over the phone telling me to help her. I couldn't take it anymore and I yelled her name and demanded her to answer me. Finally she told me another girl is bullying her and she is scared because she couldn't defend herself. 

I will never forget that call.

We all know how it feels like when we are completely helpless and our hands are tied. The day I received the call from my sister was the worst day in my entire life. Why? Because I was so damn helpless. I was too far away from her. I couldn't protect her. I couldn't make her stop crying. Most of all, I couldn't teach a lesson to the bully.

No one can argue the strong bond between siblings and loved ones. If we truly care for someone there is not a single thing in this world we wouldn't do to protect them.

Let's think of a parallel world, but don't forget my little sisters' incident. Right now I am laying down on a warm bed with a peace of mind, I feel safe and my stomach is full. I know deep down in my heart even thought I might sometimes forget it that I am blessed. I am blessed since I know the next morning I open my eyes it's a new day with a bright future ahead. I also know that the sky is clear and the day is mine to take.

At the exact same time, but in a different world there is a little child. Whose same minute is uncertain not to even mention the next morning. He is not safe. His stomach is empty. While I have a peace of mind he is shedding tears. The tears are the size of a small bubble, coming down on his cheeks. He is scared. There is not a promise of a safer tomorrow nor a feeling of being cared and loved.

"Just saw this young man crying outside in the rain. Tried talking to him for 20 minutes to see what was wrong but he was too scared to even talk. The strange thing is at least 10 other people walked by and they didn't even seem to notice. He can't have been older than 6; we really have fallen far."

Aryan Qazzaz

The question is, how does this affect me? Well, it doesn't. You are absolutely right. I mean why would you care about someone living in a different world? Miles away if not even light years. See, the point is not about caring, the point is not about doing something, the point is not stopping something bad happening in a different world. 

What's the point then?

Wait, what the flower did I just write.. Rewinding back.

Two different worlds, I mean two Parallel worlds? Oh Hell No. We are actually living on the same god damn planet, living under the same blue sky, enjoying the same ray of light, breathing the same air and YET we separate ourselves with borders of different countries, communicating in languages I have never even heard, we drink and dance differently depending on the culture and then again I sleep in a warm bed but that kid up there is crying bubble tears.

Hmm.. What does my little sisters' incident, this kid and the two parallel worlds got to do with each other? EVERYTHING.

My little sister is everything to me, she is family, and that is the reason why I can never think of living without her. That's why I want to protect her with each breath I got. This feeling, this need of protecting family shouldn't be only for the close people. This feeling and need should be for the whole world. We are not living in two different worlds, we are all the same no matter how hard we try to prove other wise. 

It doesn't matter if you are rich or poor, beautiful or ugly, because at the end we all turn into dust and rest in identical graves.

I'm not here to preach any of you, I just want to give you some insight. We should do our best every single day to help each other. We need to hold on to the thought of Family and the strong bond between us. We are the destruction of humanity, which means we are also the key for the salvation of humanity.  

Look into these eyes and decide for yourself.

Save the Golden Land of Kurdistan!

It’s 5.33 am and I wake up to Adhan, wake up call for the remembrance of God. I open my eyes and the next second -million thoughts go through my mind, but mostly the happiness that goes through my veins straight to my head and from there… a smile creeps into my face. I am smiling damn early in the morning. Why? Because it’s FRIDAY! What do we Kurds do on Fridays? Obviously we gather our stuff and we head to the mountains for a day with the nature.

I wake up my cousin and tell her “It’s time”, like we are going for a mission. Due to my super excitement I start packing, picking up all the things I will need. And no, I won’t forget the most important thing: Lipstick. The clock is ticking, my family is hassling and it feels like the whole house is on a move to somewhere. I go outside to our garden. I take a deep breath, close my eyes and listen to the birds singing. It’s March, the most beautiful month in Kurdistan because Newroz is getting near.

The sun is arising and illuminating our golden land meter by meter. The scene mesmerizes any human being, takes you to places you have never been and most importantly your feet are touching the most precious land in the whole wide world – Kurdistan. 

We are ready and we jump into the car heading to the mountains. The journey takes around 2-3 hours depending on how slow or fast we drive. I put on my headphones and listen to my favorite play list. While we drive through Kurdistan every scene on our way reminds me of our constant struggles. I guess one of the best things on our road trip was that almost in every corner one can catch the Kurdistan flag! Isn’t a beautiful sight?

I am sure many of you already know that beneath the colors of our flag lies an unforgettable story.

Red symbolizes the blood of all the Kurdish patriots

White symbolizes peace, equality and freedom we Kurds desire and have acquired over the years.

Yellow symbolizes the golden land, light and hope

Green symbolizes our gorgeous nature, life and vitality.

It’s not that only the flag is beautiful, but the whole story behind it makes any Kurd patriotic and defend their country no matter what. Hence, here I am. Defending my country.

We Kurds are known for our patriotism and that we never back down even in the face of death. We defend what is ours and we have done that over centuries. Over years we have built a country that cannot be compared to any in the whole Middle East! We have hospitals, universities, a booming economy with many foreigner investments, peace among any religion and ethnicity, equal rights for women –look at our parliament (The legal minimum quota of female is 30%)! The list goes on, but I do not want to focus on all of the aspects. I am here to discuss only one: our land.

May I ask how many of you have lost someone protecting our people and our land? How many of you would get up and fight against the enemy just to keep our land safe? How many of you would die protecting our golden land? How many of you are a proud Kurd and will die as a proud Kurd? If you raised your hand to all of the questions above then please keep reading.

Now can you explain, what do you see?

I see broken bottles on our golden land. I see trash covering our hopes and dreams. I see our struggle going down the toilet. I see no Kurdistan.

What wonders me the most is that we say we love our land, we say we will die for our land and yet we feel no shame throwing trash everywhere, we feel no regret leaving broken bottles behind. We say "no friends but the mountains" -yet we treat the mountains like garbage. Is this how we repay nature? By destroying the only beautiful thing we have. I feel devastated. 

Another point is that once I was driving around Hawler with my friends and asked them to stop the car. I got out of the car and threw some trash into the garbage. My friends were shocked! They were like you made us stop the car for that?! Now it was my turn to be shocked. I asked "You want me to throw the trash all around our land?" then they were like "yes, who cares?". Honestly I did not know what to say since they way I have been raised is to always throw any trash to the garbage and not on the ground.

One of the biggest problems we come across Kurdistan is waste management. It feels like there ain't any waste management but yet few times a week someone picks up our trash in front of our houses, offices, hotels and malls. So who are they? Well folks, they are the only people who actually are cleaning our town and land! The only people who the most important jobs concerning our future!

There is a solution for everything. 

Few months ago I had the pleasure of talking with Eric J. Bollard. Mr Bollard is one of the founders of Grand Array Company. What caught my attention to talk more deeply with him was that his company's core goal is "to be the biggest waste management company in Kurdistan encompassing waste collection, sorting, recycling, land-fill and waste to power generation."

Now you tell me, isn't Mr Bollard doing exactly what we Kurds should be doing every single day throughout our life?

I say yes! I say all of us need to keep our city and land clean, we need to take responsibility now in order to have a cleaner tomorrow!

If we do not care for our land, cherish it like a little baby, keep it clean while we can then why do even fight for our land, why do we let all those young men and women die in the battle if we cannot keep the same land they shed their blood clean. Just tell me why it's so hard to keep your own country clean? 

The pictures with the signature "Sarok F." are Sarok Jaff's property and are used with his permission.
For more information: Sarok Jaff.