From Finland to Kurdistan: Studying in the University of Kurdistan - Hawlér (UKH) part 2

I would underestimate myself if I said that the exchange semester in Kurdistan didn't have major impact on my personal growth. Because it did.

As I said on my previous blog posts, I didn't really choose to do my exchange in Kurdistan - I was forced due to having no other choice. But I am glad I had no other choice. I grew up between two cultures and I never really felt being a Kurd but rather a lost soul who tried to convince herself that she is a Finn no matter her appearance. But see, I am not just a Kurd nor a Finn and I realized this only after me exchange.

I was in my 20's when I flew to Kurdistan and as many others also I didn't really know who I am. It certainly didn't help that I didn't speak fluently my mother language. I started the semester in October 2011. I was really happy that all of the students in the university spoke fluent English therefore I didn't have to speak in Kurdish. Actually many of them didn't even know I'm a Kurd. I guess they thought I'm just another Western girl lost in Kurdistan. Only after few weeks I spoke in Kurdish and to the student's reaction I felt ashamed since my accent was funny to them. 

I woke up everyday before 8 am, had breakfast and went to my classes. The first day was terrible. I sat at the front of the class, opened my bag and grabbed my pens and notebook. I laid my pens on the desk in order and notebook next to it. I was surprised that none of my classmates had even a pen with them. So since day one I felt like a joke, because to them I was weird for carrying multiple pens.

I don't know if it was only this university, or the culture or the society but the amount of sarcasm was astonishing. Obviously I had no experience in people who made fun of others just for the fun of it so most of the sarcastic comments didn't even reach my understanding. Call it being stupid but honestly I just didn't understand where it came from. Sure its easy to pick on the new girl who didn't understand "the local way" nor spoke fluently her mother language. To be quite honest the first few months were hell to me. There wasn't a single day I didn't go back home with a sad face. 

One of the days that hurt me the most was a day when I went to uni with a skirt I thought was beautiful. Only few hours had passed when one of my male classmates came to me and said "Taj, you know that dress is too short and not acceptable?" I was shocked because honestly it was just above my knee. Then he continued "Everyone is talking about you and making fun of you." My eyes were filled with tears but I hold it in. I just excused myself and ran to the ladies room and just cried. To me that feeling was terrible because no one has ever told me how to dress plus I was just depressed so I just couldn't hold it anymore. It took me just 15 min to realize that I won't survive a week unless I start to live and act as everyone else does.

I texted that same male classmate and asked a ride home. He was so kind that of course he took me home. Once I got home I asked him to wait for 5 min. I went to my room, threw away the skirt and put on a dress with more acceptable length. I gathered myself and walked back to the car. He looked at me once and knew I'm going to handle this no matter what. We went back to uni and I walked to my next class without feeling a hint of awkwardness but I knew everyone was looking at me and that I had changed my clothes for a reason. Since that day I didn't let anyone walk on me.

First I asked my cousins to correct me each time I said something wrong, I asked them also to teach me how to read and write in Kurdish letters. I learned in less than few weeks. I started out by reading all the signs and rewriting song lyrics and let me tell you I succeeded so well that I even surprised myself!

After a while I started making friends who I had so much fun with. They showed me around, taught me how to behave in certain situations and most of all they taught me not to carry around a god damn pen because no one uses it there. :D My classmates and friends started to call me "gandal" which meant "corrupted", and I didn't mind it because it was true. I was corrupted by the society, the uni and even my friends. The only thing that mattered was that I accepted being corrupted because I wanted to be part of the society, to know my culture, language and roots. 

It didn't take long until I attended all the seminars provided by the uni, exhibitions and many other. I learned a lot during those 6 months but what I really learned was that each culture is different and even being a Kurd doesn't automatically mean you can handle the pressure. I certainly didn't but I learned to. 

To sum up I need to say that each and one of us should have the chance the explore themselves even if it means stepping out of their comfort-zone and exploring something new and maybe even awful. It all comes down to how will you act upon it. If I had truly gone the depression road I wouldn't have learned as much as I did, I wouldn't have learned the culture and the language and most of all I wouldn't be the person I am today. 

Have faith when everything seems hopeless and have courage when all seems to be lost because you never know what lies behind the closed door.

From Finland to Kurdistan: Studying in the University of Kurdistan - Hawlér (UKH) part 1

I landed to Hawlér, Kurdistan early in the morning on 1^st of September, 2011. I traveled with my mom and dad because apparently before I can officially enroll to the university I need my dads permission. I still remember how I was thinking where am I going that I need a permission for. Honestly I hadn't any good feelings about my upcoming exchange. Not at all.

With my parents the local Mall - Hawlér, Kurdistan, 2011

I was told that my semester would start on 4^th of September, which was a Sunday. I was a bit skeptic because why would anyone go to so class on Sunday?!  Nevertheless we went there on that Sunday and they told us we are one month early. I wish it had been just us being too early but no.. When we went to the admissions office they actually asked us "who are you exactly?". They didn't have any information about me and to be quiet frank they didn't even know what's the meaning of an exchange student. I was really disappointed and I just looked at my dad with the face "I told you so". 

Couple of days passed and my dad was calling professors, lecturers, admission office and then finally we reached the lovely Vice President of the university. She helped us and took care of all the necessary paper work. You might think why haven't we made sure of the necessary paper work before - but let me tell you: We DID! The head faculty of the Business & Management accepted me as an exchange student but for some reason the information hadn't gone to the admission. 

My exchange in the University of Kurdistan - Hawlér took place in fall 2011 until February 2012. My journey in Kurdistan had a rough start but once I started the actual studies it went down the hill in a blink of an eye. Hahha just joking. The 6 month in Kurdistan truly opened my eyes and the more I spent my days there the more I felt home. 

I had classes from Sunday (believe me, it was quite a surprise to me too) to Thursday. Even tho no one really did any studies on a Thursday because it was mostly just a day off to submit assignments. So for me Thursdays were "let's chill and have some tea at the University's garden". Also one of the few things that was quite cool was that I had a personal driver who picked me up every morning and took me home too. There were public transportation but women barely used to it due to safety reasons plus it wasn't proper if an unmarried lady used a bus. Obviously for me having a personal driver was luxurious because I've used public transportation in Finland since forever.. 

On my next blog I'll discuss the classes and teachers. :)

From Finland to Kurdistan: Exchange Program with University of Kurdistan - Hawlér

"But dad I can't leave now because I still need to do one exam"  

Which obviously was a big fat lie. I just wanted to stay for the Valentine's day party. It's almost 4 years ago when I did an exchange program with the University of Kurdistan Hawlér. To be quiet honest Kurdistan wasn't my first choice, not even second.

When I started my studies at the local university in Finland my main focus and biggest excitement was the chance to do an exchange somewhere in the world. When I explored all the possibilities I landed with a university in Dubai. Can you guess my dad's reaction?

"There is no way I'll let my daughter to be surrounded by Arabs!"

As if the Arabs would eat me. I wanted to go to Dubai because it was everything I wanted: booming economy, high class and of course the shopping malls! After a while I realized there isn't a chance to change my dad's mind. His decision was rock solid. Once my dad saw how disappointed I was he suggested why don't I go to Kurdistan. I was like "Omg what a typical Kurdish dad! Of course he suggests Kurdistan.." At first I didn't really like his idea and I told him many times that I don't want to go there.

My problem was my own university because as part of our degree we HAD to do an exchange somewhere, therefore without the exchange I wouldn't even graduate. Since back then I was such a stubborn girl that I told my dad I wouldn't go anywhere else than Dubai so forget it. Then my dad told me to give it a chance so after a while I said whatever, let's do it. It's not that I don't love my country but to me Hawlér was always just Middle-East; religious & uneducated, no women rights and definitely not a place I could feel comfortable with. Oh how wrong I was!

On 31^st of August, 2011 I flew to Hawlér, Kurdistan. 

To be more precise, I did my exchange here.

In the University of Kurdistan - Hawlér (UKH).

Before I got even accepted to do my exchange in UKH I had to do a lot. First I needed to prove my own university that UKH is legit. Imagine my teachers face expression when I told them where am I going. Nonetheless it took me almost half a year to communicate with my own university and with UKH before everything was settled.

After all the paper work I was ready to start my journey.

On my next blog I'll write more about how was studying and living in Kurdistan.